Deb's Blog

When is Change necessary?

Deb Korte — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 19:58:00 GMT

As a Quality of Life Coach I often get asked the question of "When is Change necessary?". My answer is NOW!
Often we get too comfortable with the way our lives are going. We may not like how it is, but never-the-less stay the way we are because it seems too difficult to make the changes needed to move forward. We stay in jobs that are un-fulfilling. Stay in a relationship that is flat and loveless, or worse, dangerous.
Is it OK to make the changes in baby steps? You bet! Tiny baby steps or Giant leaps...as long as there is a movement forward. If we stay the same we will continue to have the same outcome. Start the movement and see how you feel about the situation after the step has been taken.

Here is a way to experiment with change that will get you moving:
- get up on the opposite side of the bed. If you are used to getting out of bed on the left side...today get up on the right (or visa versa)
or - sit in a different chair at the breakfast table, coffee shop, dinner table
or - sit on the opposite end of the couch
or - use an alternate way to work or home
or - part your hair on the other side
or - put your underwear on with the opposite leg first
or - put your other shoe on first
or - brush your teeth with your other hand

You'll see that first you need to look at how you do it now then consciously do it different. So it goes with the other changes you will want to make. First off figuring out what system you are using now to get the outcome you are already getting and then experimenting with one little change that you consciously do. Evaluate the outcome. Understand that it might feel a bit weird at first because you haven't made the new way a habit. When you decide that the new way is a step in the right direction, continue to consciously follow the new system for at least 21 days. (It has been said that habits are formed in 21 days)

Now that you see how it feels to make small changes in your systems, tackle one facet of a bigger project like changing jobs. Figure out where you are first. Find one small thing you can change about how you are doing the job that might make it more enjoyable.
or - do a job search online
or - move your pencil holder on your desk
or - put up a new picture of your dream vacation
or ?

Do it a different way and evaluate your outcome...congratulate yourself for not standing still anymore.

What specifically do you want ?

Deb Korte — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 23:02:00 GMT

Much of my Coaching work deals with Goal Setting. I firmly believe to achieve the Goals that we want, we have to write them, fully immerse ourselves into the "wish full filled" and put them into their future achievement date. I follow a format and celebrate the outcome. In reviewing some of my goals over this past year I have noticed the achievement of them all. Selling of property during a down market in both California and Nevada. Getting a handle on my financial situation. Becoming a Certified Spiritual Counselor. Adding additional learnings from the opportunities in my path. Going on a Vision Quest in Beautiful Hawaii. Meeting someone on a similar path as I to partner with.
I have a few more goals that are still in the works...I am adding some specific details to them over this week so as to enhance the outcomes. Some of the specifics will define what the relationships will look like, feel like, sound like, smell like, taste like. And as always I will be sure to put in the caveat of "this or something better"!
A toast to you and yours over this week of 2009 Goal Setting. May all of your Goals be achieved sooner and better than you can ever imagine.
Love and Light for 2009
DebKorte

No more excuses

Deb Korte — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 02:17:00 GMT

Alright! Alright! I'm done procrastinating. I'm done making up excuses!!! Mostly to myself. Sometimes to my Coach. I'm done. Finished. Complete. I'm putting it in writing. I'm "Strategic Visioning" it. Letting myself do the work to get it done.
What am I talking about??? I've been putting off doing some necessary work on my website. My excuses were about not being complete, not being professional enough, not having the best/right product and not being sure of myself. Yes, there are times that even I don't have the confidence to do that next step. So what do I do? Take a few deep breaths and clear my schedule. I find that if I only work on one thing at a time until it is complete...I can get the task done.
My goal:
It is now July 30th and I have installed the necessary links and keywords on my web page. I've checked and it works! I'm celebrating by shouting Woooo Hoooo and taking myself to lunch.

Next will be recording some awesome cds and MP3s for product. A Stress Relief product, Stop Smoking and follow up product will be among the first...

Have a great, successful week
Coach Deb

Maintaining Boundries

Deb Korte — Thu, 15 May 2008 17:05:00 GMT

I had an unpleasant experience yesterday. Almost 2 months ago my water heater gave up and died spilling water in the garage in a steady stream. The house was not the best built originally and less than top of the line equipment was installed. It was no surprise that it would go...it was just a matter of when. I have a home warranty policy and called to have it replaced. The company that did the service sent out 2 young men who were a bit rude but I let it slide. They came and had to evaluate the situation first... $55.00 to tell me that the water heater needed to be replaced...duh! They called it in, turned off the water to the unit and said they would come back the next day to install the new one.
Once the water heater was installed they had neglected to reattach the PVC pipe to the pressure relief valve. I asked them why they didn't do it and they said it wasn't necessary, there was a new type of release valve and it wasn't needed any longer.
I'm in the process of selling my house. The buyer had the house inspected and one of the flagged problems was the pressure relief tube wasn't connected. So I am back on the phone with the plumbing company to get the job that they started completed. They sent one of the same people out and he proceeded to install a solution. In the installation he had to open up the drywall to get to a pipe he cut off. Long story short...he opens a large hole in the wall, says he won't be closing it up because his company doesn't do that. The connection was dripping. And he had the gall to tell me I was supposed to pay him $50 for the call. Luckily I had a male friend standing with me at the time. I told the plumber that I would not pay for anything that should have been done the right way the first time.
This guy overstepped my boundary. I usually will just bitch and moan to a friend or two...but not this time. This time I made a complaint to the warranty company, the owner of his company and am thinking of filing a complaint against the company with the trade union in the area. I never go this far...but he overstepped the boundary and set me in motion. Perhaps if I had insisted that he complete the job correctly in the first place I wouldn't have had that queasy feeling that I had to take action. Perhaps it was just another learning experience. And what it did do is remind me to stand up for what I think is right. Life is just one big learning after another.
Like the saying goes... Every day in every way better and better.

It seems that I get more done when I am already too busy to do one more thing.

Deb Korte — Wed, 14 May 2008 20:07:00 GMT

Time. We all have the same amount. 24 hours a day; every day; for your whole life. I've noticed at my age that the days seem to pass faster than when I was a child...just waiting for the bell to ring on that last day before summer vacation. It's the middle of May already...dang... where did the time go?
Today I accepted a challenge to contribute to a book. Only one chapter. Less than 20,000 words (how many pages is that???) Now in any given month it would be a task that I would take and procrastinate a bit, lolly-gag until the last minute and then pound out an evening's worth of writing instead of playing computer games or watching mind numbing television's night time dramas. I don't have that luxury this month. This month I have sold my house, must pack and find storage for 3 people, find a place to move to, and keep up with my coaching clients. My own coach has helped me get cracking on my website which absolutely must be ready to sell the book I am contributing to, as well as my coaching programs. Whew! I seem more motivated than ever! Bring it on!

OK... what's first?

Sort and Pack the closets that are not in use... it'll be close to 100 degrees this weekend...coat closet...here I come.

What an adventure!

OBTW...my topic is about the Midlife Possibilities utilizing Hypnosis.

And the Question is..."What do you want"?

Deb Korte — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 17:26:00 GMT

As a Midlife Coach, I am always going back to the question, "What do you want?". Interesting question and even more interesting is the myriad of answers I get. "I don't know!" seems to be the predominate one. So how does one achieve a goal if they haven't a clue how to define it, let alone how to word it to put it into their future. Here are some suggestions on how to define what you want so you can take the first step in getting what ever it is you want.

Pretend that you won the lottery. Money is plentiful. Time has opened up and you can use it as needed. The only rule is that you must list 10 THINGS that you have always wanted. A special car, home, vacation, classes/trainings ... what ever it is that you want. Do not share this list with anyone. This is your wildest dream come true list...
Now imagine actually having those things in the right here and now. How would you feel? What positive things would you be hearing from those around you? What are you saying to yourself? Where are you? Who is with you? How do you know you have it? What do you see, smell, hear and feel?
Now write down the list, or better still, make a vision board or collage with pictures of everything in your list and put it somewhere that you can look at it morning and night.
Take one small step that will move you towards that goal each day...and some days take 10....
When you achieve a goal...celebrate! It gives your unconcious mind a reason to achieve the rest.

Being a part of it all

Deb Korte — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 21:29:00 GMT

When did you know, I mean REALLY KNOW you were a part of it all? My realization was when I was getting my Master/Teacher Reiki Attunement in the late 1990's. As I lay there with Rebecca Kurtz doing the attunement, I silently asked that I didn't have to do the work alone. At that moment it seemed as though there was a loudspeaker at full volume in my head. The words were simple and the voice was male. The words were "you are not one you are a part of it all".
A part of it all. Hmmm, I finally felt that it didn't matter if others were physically near me. I wasn't alone doing anything. I could just acknowledge that there were others helping me in whatever I did. I just had to ask the question and listen for the answer. The listening doesn't have to be with the ears or even the voice in the head...but also in sight or feeling. I have asked questions to "it all" and received answers in the form of license plates, songs on the radio and paragraphs or titles in a book that happen to open at just the right place.
Being a part of "it all" is becoming more interesting as I ask more questions and get more answers faster and faster. There seems to be things happening at a faster pace. Is it because I know? Really Know?

The Attitude of Gratitude

Deb Korte — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 00:38:00 GMT

I suggest to my clients to start their day with an attitude of gratitude. What better way is there to get into a great mood? Thinking the list is ok and Writing the list rocks! There is something about writing it out, so that it can be read, that seems to seal it in for the day. Perhaps it is because so many people are visual. Seeing is believing?

I am grateful to be blogging again with a gratitude list. I have so much to be grateful for, including:

Having my son here for a visit this week.
Knowing that my daughter has found a job that she likes.
Hearing my fellow coaches voices on the Coaches Call
Knowing that Chris Howard Coaches are among the best in the world
The clients I have are committed to making huge changes in their lives
Having a wonderful coach of my own to champion me on...

Managing Stress during the Holidays

Deb Korte — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 02:22:00 GMT

Ahhhhh, the holidaze are upon us. I had a wonderful Thanksgiving sharing a meal with my daughter and some newly found friends/neighbors. And the day was realitively stress free. Sure, there was the pre-holiday shopping and cleaning and preparing. I even was having my office/living room and (only on the holidays) dining room painted during the week of the holiday. There was the unplanned replacement of the wobbly fan with a beautiful chandalier and the realization that I will have do without the dimmer switch that started the whole fan replacement side journey. In the olden days, I would have fretted and fussed. My blood pressure would have risen. I would have blamed myself and made myself wrong for having taken the risk of trying to replace a dead fan switch for a dimmer switch. This year I rejoiced in finding out that the fan was dangerously dangling from one screw and shouldn't have been there in the first place.
Being able to change how I look at things, people, situations has been one of the best learnings I have gotten over the years. Reframing the content of the challenge or problem and putting it into another context has saved me from anger, dissapointment and tons of stress. I used to worry that the fan would come crashing down on the conference table with a client sitting there. (Or during a holiday meal with family and friends.) Now I am confident that I have a safe lighting fixture.
There are a few imperfect paint lines. Something to stress over? Heck no. Life isn't perfect. The rooms were painted a wonderfully bold color (covering sterile white) and I marvel at the richness whenever I pass thru the rooms.
Steps to de-stress a problem or situation during the holidays:
1. Problem presents itself
2. Take 3 long deep breaths and let them out slowly.
3. Ask yourself...
      "Is there a way that I can look at this that would make it OK?"
      "What could be 3 positive outcomes for this challenge?"
      "If this happened in another place or time...would you think differently about it?"
      "What's the best thing I can do at this moment to eliviate the problem for my highest good?"
4. Take Action... Do what you chose to do (which may include doing nothing at the moment and calling a repairman).
5. Be Grateful that you chose to react in a positive manner to this situation and remember that this method defused what, in the past, would have been a stressful situation.

Holidays were wrought with possibly stressful situations...using this method has helped me stay realitively stress free. Try it ... you might find yourself relaxed in the most interesting of times.